I don’t know how many of you are football fans, but in a house of boys, in Michigan, when it’s football season - it’s always on here.

And if you caught the end of the Michigan vs. Western Michigan game last week, you know how quickly the tide can turn.

If you didn’t, allow me a tiny bit of backstory…

Western Michigan, the huge underdog, had dominated much of the game. Michigan had one final drive to try to pull off the win, and on what appeared to be the last play of the game, Michigan's quarterback, Bryce Underwood, threw a Hail Mary that fell incomplete.

The clock showed zero.  Western Michigan had won. 

Except…they hadn’t.

After a replay review, officials determined that the clock had been off by one second. Michigan got another shot - and this time, they completed the Hail Mary for the touchdown and won the game 13 - 12.

Talk about a gut punch.

I felt terrible for the Western Michigan players. They had played an incredible game, were seconds away from one of the biggest upsets in the program’s history, and then watched the whole thing seemingly disappear.

But then, later in the week, my husband shared a few quotes from Western Michigan head coach Lance Taylor. 

And instead of feeling sorry for them, I felt inspired. 

Because his attitude was remarkable.

He could have blamed the officials.

He could have talked about the unfairness of the situation.

He could have spent the week replaying that final second over and over again.

And honestly? Who could have blamed him?

Instead, he said: 

“If we make the mistake of making an excuse, it allows us to be bitter instead of getting better.”

That stopped me.

Bitter instead of better.

Isn’t that a choice we all face sometimes?

Not necessarily because we are choosing to be negative or difficult. But because something happens that feels unfair.

A doctor doesn’t have the answers we hoped for.

Your body isn't responding the way you think it should.

You didn't get the promotion.

Someone else got the opportunity you wanted.

You worked hard and the scale didn't move.

You did “everything right” and still ended up dealing with something you never asked for.

And it is incredibly easy to get stuck asking:

Why me?

Whose fault is this?

Why isn't this easier?

Why can't things just go the way they are supposed to?

Sometimes those are completely legitimate questions.

But if we stay there too long, they don't actually help us move forward.  They turn our attention toward what we cannot control.  And that is where the victim trap can sneak in.

Now, before anyone gets upset with me over the word “victim,” let me explain what I mean.

There are absolutely situations where people are victims of things they did not cause and could not control. I'm not talking about blaming people for circumstances that genuinely aren't their fault. 

I'm talking about what happens AFTER something difficult happens.

Though we may not get to choose what happens to us… we often get to choose what we do next.  And that choice can change the trajectory.

Your attitude doesn't change reality. It changes your response to reality.

There is actually some interesting science behind this.

Research consistently finds relationships between optimism, expectations, self-efficacy and health behaviors. A 2026 meta-analysis found that positive expectations, particularly optimism and hope, were significantly associated with healthier behaviors.

And another large meta-analysis recently looked at more than 200 experimental tests and found that interventions that changed attitudes and self-efficacy produced changes in health intentions and, importantly, actual health behaviors.

Beyond that, research on optimism and physical health has found an association between greater optimism and better physical health outcomes.

Notice what I said there:

Association.

This doesn't mean that if you just “think positive,” you will never get sick, never struggle and never experience setbacks.

That isn't how life works.

Optimism isn't denial.

It isn't pretending everything is wonderful when it isn't.

And it definitely isn't putting a cute inspirational quote over a very real problem and calling it fixed.

Instead, I think healthy optimism looks more like this:

This happened. 

I don't like it. 

I may not understand it. 

But what can I do from here?

That is a very different question.

I have had to practice this myself.

For example, I could be bitter that my doctor doesn't know how to help me with all of the changes that came with menopause.

I could blame her.

Or I could blame the medical school she attended.

Or the general lack of menopause education in traditional medical training.

Or the medical system, western societal stigmas surrounding it...

Or any number of other things.

And honestly, there are some very real problems with how menopause has historically been taught and treated.

But none of that gets me closer to feeling better.

So instead, I've spent the last several years learning.

I've been taking coursework to better understand how menopause changes hormones, how those changes can affect the body, and how nutrition, exercise, lifestyle and, when appropriate, supplementation or medical treatment can support health during this transition.

I'm not saying I should have to become my own doctor.

I'm saying I decided that being frustrated wasn't going to be my only strategy.

I could either spend my energy being angry about what I wasn't getting… or use that energy to learn what I could do next.

And that choice has made a huge difference.

Just this morning, I read about an 82-year-old man who deadlifts more than 400 pounds.

Now, I realize that sentence probably got your attention.

It certainly got mine.

This 82-year-old man began strength training in his early 70s after being diagnosed with mild osteoporosis and sarcopenia.

When he started at his local strength program for seniors, he weighed around 154 pounds and could reportedly deadlifted  only 65 pounds his first session.

He began training consistently with a trainer three days a week.  And now, years later, the article stated that he deadlifted 455 pounds.

But the part that really caught my attention wasn't the number on the bar. It was what happened between those two numbers.

He didn't look at osteoporosis and sarcopenia and say, “Well, I guess this is just what happens when you get old.”

He did something about it.

He trained.

He learned.

He progressed.

He kept showing up.

And his body responded.

That is the part I wish more people understood about health.

Your current circumstances are information. They are not necessarily your final outcome.

Maybe you have lost muscle.

Maybe your bones aren't as strong as you'd like.

Maybe your energy has tanked.

Maybe your hormones are changing.

Maybe you've gained weight.

Maybe your joints hurt.

Maybe you've tried to change your habits a dozen times and haven't been able to make them stick.

Those things matter.

But they don't automatically tell you what is possible next.

So how do we actually change our attitude?

This is where I think we sometimes make behavior change harder than it needs to be.

We wait to feel motivated.

We wait to feel positive.

We wait hoping we will naturally become the person who makes better choices.

But attitude is something we can practice.

It starts with intention.

Then practice.

Then repetition.

And yes…sometimes failing miserably and trying again.

This is actually one of the reasons I built the “Align & Stabilize Framework” into my online program, The Revitalize Method™.

Because I don't believe lasting change happens by simply knowing what you should do.

We have to connect attitude and action.

First, we align, our thoughts, expectations, priorities and choices, with where we want to go.

Then we stabilize - with the habits, strategies and consistent actions that help us actually get there.

You can have the best intentions in the world, but if your actions don't support them, nothing changes.

And you can take action all day long, but if your mindset is constantly telling you that you can't, shouldn't, or won't succeed, eventually that becomes exhausting, too.

Alignment gives your actions direction.

Action gives your intentions traction.

So what does that look like in real life?

1. Separate the facts from the story.

The fact might be: I gained 10 pounds.

The story might be: I have no discipline. I'll never lose it. My metabolism is broken. I'm getting old.

Those are not the same thing.

Start with what you actually know.  Then ask: What am I assuming?

2. Ask, What is within my control?

You may not control your diagnosis.

You may not control another person's behavior.

You may not control what your doctor knows.

You may not control the scale from one day to the next.

But you can often control the next meal.

The next workout.

The phone call.

The question you ask.

The appointment you make.

The decision to go for a walk instead of staying on the couch.

Small things count.

3. Replace Why is this happening to me? with What can I learn from this?

This one can be uncomfortable.

But it moves you from helplessness toward curiosity.

And curiosity creates options.

4. Look for evidence that you can change.

This is especially important when your brain is telling you that you've “always been this way.”

Think back.

When have you done something hard?

When have you made a change?

When have you stuck with something longer than you thought you could?

Those experiences are evidence.

Use them.

5. Focus on the next step, not the entire staircase.

You don't have to figure out how you're going to lose 30 pounds.

You don't have to know how you're going to become stronger six months from now.

You don't have to solve your entire health situation today.

You just need to figure out what comes next.

One step.

Then another.

Then another.

Because that is how change actually happens.

Get better, not bitter.

I don't know what is going on in your life right now.

Maybe things are going beautifully.

Maybe you're in the middle of a season that feels incredibly unfair.

Maybe you're somewhere in between.

But whatever you're facing, I hope you remember the lesson Lance Taylor gave his football team:

Don't let an excuse become a place to live.

You can acknowledge that something wasn't fair.

You can be disappointed.

You can be angry.

You can grieve what you hoped would happen.

And then…

You can decide what you're going to do next.

Because your attitude won't magically change the circumstances.

But it can change your response. And your response determines your next action. 

And your next action... repeated over time, can change an awful lot!

That's really what I mean when I talk about “Align & Stabilize.”

Align your attitude with what matters and where you want to go.

Then stabilize that alignment through action.

Not perfectly.

Not all at once.

But consistently.

So this week, when something doesn't go the way you wanted, pause before you ask:

Why me?

Try asking:

Okay. This is where I am. What can I do from here?

Then take the next step.

And the next.

And the next.

We're not trying to create a perfect life.

We're learning how to create a better response to, and a better outcome for, the life we're given.

Keep Shining, 

Kim

Labor Day is tomorrow.   And it has always struck me as a little bit funny.

Not the idea that we should honor those who labor and work. We absolutely should! Many of us couldn’t feed, clothe or shelter ourselves without working, and our society certainly wouldn’t function without a workforce.

But the timing?

That part makes me smile.

Labor Day marks the end of summer - a season when instead of “laboring” many of us have taken time off of work, done a bit of extra celebrating, traveled, stayed up later, relaxed, and generally stepped outside our normal routines.  

And now? We head into fall.

Back to school. 

Back to work. 

Back to schedules. 

Back to routines.

Back to the grind, so to speak.

But maybe there’s actually something pretty wise about this seasonal rhythm - because there are distinct seasons for momentum and seasons for maintenance.

Spring and fall tend to be natural times for establishing routines, building momentum and creating a strong baseline.

Summer and winter often pull us in a different direction. They give us opportunities for celebration, adventure, travel, rest and connection.

And this applies to so much more than our calendars.

It applies to our work.

Our homes.

Our relationships.

Our health and fitness.

Even our personal care rituals.

We tend to think that if we get “off track,” we’ve failed somehow.

We were doing so well...

And then vacation happened.

Or school let out for summer.

Or work got crazy.

Or the holidays came.

Or life simply… happened.

So we start over.

Again.

And again.

And again.

But what if instead of thinking of this as constantly getting on and off the wagon, we thought of it as an "ebb and flow"? A pendulum swinging one direction, and then inevitably back the other.

Athletes understand this - They don't train at maximum intensity every day, forever. They have training cycles. 

They push. 

They build. 

They recover. 

They maintain. 

And then they build again.

Farmers understand this too - They rotate crops and allow fields to rest and regenerate so the soil can continue producing year after year.

Even performers and musicians understand there is rhythm - There are seasons of intense practice and preparation, followed by seasons of performing, seasons of recovery, and then back into seasons of steady skill maintenance.

The goal isn't to be at maximum effort all the time.

The goal is to create a pattern - one that can continue.

And I think this is an important concept when it comes to our health.

Because the amount of effort it takes to create a change isn't necessarily the same amount of effort it takes to maintain that change.

Think about weight loss.

Building muscle.

Improving your strength.

Improving your cardiovascular fitness.

Improving your bloodwork.

Creating better sleep habits.

Building a healthier relationship with food.

Those things usually require some intentionality and consistency.

And to achieve that, you need a season where you are more focused.

You prioritize your workouts.

You plan your meals.

You get serious about your sleep.

You make some changes that may require a little more effort than you're accustomed to giving.

And honestly?

For me, knowing that incredibly focused season has an end makes it so much easier to hit it hard.  I certainly don't want to live at 100% effort, 100% of the time, forever and ever until the end.

That's a pretty scary commitment.

But give me a season?

I can do a season.

And then comes maintenance.

The work doesn't disappear, but the intensity can change.  You don't necessarily need to keep pushing harder and harder to hold onto what you've built.

You need to keep showing up.

You need a baseline.

You need habits that support the gains you've made.

And when you're ready for another season of growth?

You build again.

That, to me, is a much more sustainable way to approach health.

Not perfection.

Not constant intensity.

Not starting over every time life disrupts your routine.

A rhythm.

A season of pushing forward.

A season of maintaining.

A season of rest.

And then another opportunity to grow.

So as Labor Day weekend comes to a close and we head into fall...

Maybe instead of asking yourself:

How do I get back on track?

Ask yourself:

What season am I entering?

Maybe this is your season to build strength.

Maybe it's time to focus on nutrition and create some momentum with your weight.

Maybe you've already made some wonderful changes and your job right now is simply to maintain them.

Maybe you need a season of rebuilding your energy and taking better care of yourself.

There isn't one right answer.

And your season doesn't need to look like anyone else's.

The Revitalize Method is built around this same idea: looking at the whole picture - movement, nutrition, mindset and lifestyle - and creating the right balance of effort and support for where you are now.

Because your health isn't a 12-week project.

It's something you get to build, maintain, adjust and grow into through all the different seasons of your life.

So as we head into fall, don't worry about doing everything.

Choose what matters most - for this season.

And if you're not sure what that should look like, or how much commitment is actually right for you right now - reach out. I'd be happy to help you design a season of commitment that moves you forward - without requiring you to live at 100% forever.

Because sustainable doesn't mean you never push.

It means you know when to push, when to maintain, and when to let yourself breathe.

Happy Labor Day and here's to your next season!

xoxo, 

Kim

I recently read an article that promised to give seven strategies for managing anger.

And honestly? I was intrigued.

Because let's face it… Sometimes it doesn't take much.

One more email.

One more person asking, “Mom, where is my…?”

One more thing added to the schedule.

The dog needs out.

Someone forgot something.

Your coffee is cold.

You haven't eaten since breakfast.

You slept terribly.

And suddenly, the tiny little thing that normally wouldn't bother you becomes the thing that sends you over the edge.

SNAP!

And then you think, “Where the heck did THAT come from?”

The article was geared toward women, particularly women who may be navigating the hormonal shifts of midlife, and it made some really good points about how overstimulation, lack of self-care and the pace of modern life can add up.

But here's where I got a little frustrated.

The article was supposed to give seven strategies to help, but after the first few, the categories weren't really laid out clearly or explained in much detail.

So I started thinking about it...

And I decided to take the ideas that resonated with me, expand on them, and create my own seven categories of things I believe can help us to not only manage anger and reactivity, but also create a much better internal environment for everyday life.

Because as I was reading the article, here's what really struck me:

The things that help us manage anger are also the things that help us become more “regulated and resourced.”

That's the state where we have more capacity to think clearly.

To make better decisions

Stay motivated.

Learn.

Be creative.

Handle the unexpected. 

Problem-solve.

Be optimistic and actually work toward our goals.

In other words…

It's the state where we're much better equipped to “show up for our own lives.”

So here's my strategy list.

1. Sleep

This one isn't glamorous.  It's not a fancy supplement, a new workout or a 47-step morning routine.

It's sleep.

When you're exhausted, everything feels harder.  Your patience gets shorter. Your cravings can get louder. Your ability to handle stress gets smaller.

And that tiny inconvenience?

Suddenly it feels like a personal attack from the universe.

Sleep is foundational.

So rather than simply saying, “I need to sleep more,” create a boundary around it.

What time do you need to start winding down?

What can you stop doing at night?

What could you move off your plate?

What would make getting to bed 30 minutes earlier more realistic?

Sometimes taking care of yourself starts with saying:

Nope. I'm going to bed.

2. Time Alone for Quiet & Grounding

This one is HUGE.

And I don't mean scrolling your phone while sitting in the bathroom.  (Although…I’m not judging. 😂)

I mean actual time where you aren't taking in someone else's thoughts, opinions, notifications, news or entertainment.

No podcast.

No social media.

No email.

Not even a book.

Just some time to be, with yourself.

This is the piece I think we often underestimate.  Because when you're constantly consuming information and responding to everyone else's needs, you don't have much opportunity to hear your own thoughts.

Time alone creates space for quiet.

Which in turn creates an opportunity for grounding.

Go outside.

Take a walk without your earbuds.

Sit on the porch with your coffee.

Look at the trees.

Breathe.

Notice what you hear.

Notice what you feel.

Take time to process and sometimes the answer you’ve been trying to force simply show up when you finally stop feeding your brain more information.

The clarity you've been looking for might not require another podcast, book, expert or Google search.

Sometimes it requires “less input.”

3. Movement

Exercise isn't just about burning calories, changing your body or checking something off your list.

Movement changes how you feel.

It helps reduce stress, improve energy, build strength and it gives your brain a much-needed shift - endorphins are powerful medicine!

And that medicine doesn't require an hour at the gym.

Just a quick walk.

Ten minutes of strength training.

Mobility.

Dancing in your kitchen.

Whatever gets you moving.

The goal isn't punishment.

It's creating a body and nervous system that are better equipped to handle your life.

4. Nutrition

This is another one that seems ridiculously simple, and yet it is so easy to let everything else happen first.

The meeting happens.

The kids happen.

The errands happen.

The emails happen.

And suddenly it's 2:00 PM and you're standing in the kitchen thinking, “I wonder if three handfuls of almonds counts as lunch?”

Your body needs consistent fuel.

Protein.

Fiber.

Whole foods.

Enough food.

Hydration.

The basics matter.

And one of the best things you can do is make good nutrition the thing that happens no matter what else does.

Not perfect nutrition.

Whatever else happens on top of it that day…

A drink with friends

A slice of birthday cake

The date night fancy dinner

Etc..

Just consistently put the good things in first and make sure you are nourishing yourself.

5. Planning & Organization

This was one of my favorite ideas from the article!  

Having a system to catch and automate all that external busy work that creates a mental load is invaluable. 

Instead of keeping everything on a giant mental, ore even physical to-do list, use your calendar.

If something needs to happen Thursday at 2:00, put it on your calendar.

Then let it go until Thursday at 2:00.

Because your brain doesn't need to spend the next three days reminding you:

Don't forget to call the dentist.

Don't forget to order the thing.

Don't forget to send that email.

Don't forget…

Put it somewhere you trust.

Your calendar becomes the external brain.

And your brain gets to do something much more useful.

Like think.

Create.

Problem solve.

Or remember where you put your keys.

6. Clear Communication & Boundaries

Sometimes the answer isn't doing more.

Sometimes it's communicating better.

One of the principles Steven Covey made famous is:

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

I love this because good communication isn't just about making sure your needs are heard. It's also about making sure you understand what the other person needs, expects or is trying to communicate.

So often, frustration and resentment come from assumptions.

You think they know what you need.

They think you know what they need.

Nobody actually says it out loud.

And then everyone gets frustrated when things don't go the way they expected.

Sometimes a simple conversation can prevent a whole lot of unnecessary stress:

What do you need from me?

Here's what I need from you.

Can we talk about how we're going to handle this?

I thought you meant ___.

Oh! That's not what I meant at all.

Clear communication creates clarity.

And clarity makes it much easier for everyone to work together, solve problems and move through life without constantly stepping on each other's toes.

But communication also means being willing to voice what you need.

I can't take that on right now.

I need some time to think about it.

I can help, but not today.

I need you to handle this.

I need some quiet time when I get home.

Your needs matter too.

Boundaries aren't about keeping people out or making everyone else accommodate you. They're about being honest about what you can give, what you need, and what works for you. 

Because when you consistently say yes when you mean no…

Eventually your nervous system may decide to say NO for you.

And it may use a slightly louder voice.

Good communication and healthy boundaries create clarity and understanding that everyone has a better chance of getting their needs met—and things simply go more smoothly.

7. Community & Support

And finally…

We aren't meant to do all of this alone.

We need people.

People who listen.

People who encourage us.

People who make us laugh.

People who remind us who we are when we're tired and have temporarily forgotten.

Support isn't weakness.

It's part of being human.

And in our increasingly technical, increasingly isolated world, we tend to forget…

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is sit down with someone who makes you feel safe enough to exhale.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the part I really want you to take away today….

Sleep.

Take time alone, let the world become quiet and listen to your own thoughts.

Use movement and nutrition to your advantage.

Plan ahead and only keep the important things on your plate.

Listen, communicate and spend time connecting with others.

These aren't simply strategies for preventing yourself from snapping at the person who left the empty toilet paper roll on the holder.

They're strategies for creating capacity.

Capacity to think.

Capacity to respond instead of react.

Capacity to stay motivated.

Capacity to learn.

Capacity to handle stress.

Capacity to make better choices.

Capacity to pursue the things you say you want.

In other words…

Capacity to actually live the life you're trying so hard to create.

This is a big part of what we work on inside the “Align & Stabilize” pillar of The Revitalize Method ™. Because getting healthier isn't just about what happens during your workout.

It's about creating the foundation that allows you to consistently take care of yourself in the middle of your actual life.

Not your imaginary life where everyone cooperates, nobody needs anything from you, and dinner magically appears on the table.

Your real life.

The busy one.

The messy one.

The one where things don't always go according to plan.

So here's what I'd love for you to do this week:

Don't try to overhaul everything.

Pick ONE of these seven areas that could use a little more attention.

Maybe it's getting to bed earlier.

Maybe it's scheduling time alone.

Maybe it's putting your workouts on the calendar.

Maybe it's making sure protein and a real meal happen before you get to the point of eating the children's leftover crackers.

Maybe it's finally having the conversation you've been avoiding.

Maybe it's simply putting your phone down and sitting quietly for ten minutes.

Start there.

Because taking care of yourself isn't selfish.

And it isn't something you earn after everything else is done.

It is part of what makes everything else possible.

Keep Shining,

Kim

If this week's newsletter is arriving a little later than usual, it's for a very good reason.

My son and I just got home from several days hiking and rock climbing in Red River Gorge with his climbing team.

I'll be honest...

My muscles are sore.

I have bug bites in places I didn't know mosquitoes could find.

My hiking shoes are covered in Kentucky mud.

And I've had an up close and personal encounter with a copperhead snake that alerted my senses to say the least.

But despite all of that, I came home feeling...lighter.

Not because I burned calories.

Not because I got an incredible workout. (Though I did - yay!)

But because for a few days I disconnected from the constant inputs of everyday life and reconnected with something much bigger.

There was no endless scrolling.

No notifications demanding attention.

No rushing from one obligation to the next.

Instead there were towering sandstone cliffs, forests that seemed to stretch forever, turtles among the trees, owls swooping by the trail, and moments where everyone simply stopped to admire the beauty around us.

It reminded me of something that happened just a few weeks earlier.

Summer had been in full swing. Work was busy. We'd had several rounds of company. Fourth of July celebrations were underway. The beginning of Traverse City's Cherry Festival had the whole town buzzing.

By Saturday afternoon, I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the evening of festivities and fireworks.

My mother-in-law suggested I sneak away from the family BBQ for a quick nap.

I wandered onto a secluded patio and stretched out in a lounge chair.

As I drifted in and out of sleep, I could feel the warmth of the sun relaxing muscles I didn't even realize were tight. A gentle breeze kept me cool. Birds sang overhead while the leaves rustled softly enough to quiet every racing thought in my head.

Eventually, the peaceful sound of a wind chime gently brought me back.

For a few minutes I simply stayed there.

Feeling grateful.

Present.

Completely restored.

It reminded me of afternoons years ago lying beside the ocean, where somehow the combination of sunshine, water, fresh air and the rhythm of nature always seemed to make everything feel okay again.

That little pause changed the rest of my day.

And honestly...

It changed the rest of my week.

As a coach, people expect me to talk about protein, strength training, mobility, sleep and nutrition.

Those things absolutely matter.

But health is so much bigger than fitness and food.

It's also about restoration.

It's about creating space where your nervous system can exhale.

Whether you're deeply religious, spiritual, or someone who simply trusts the science, we now know that spending time in nature has remarkable effects on our health.

Research has shown that regular exposure to nature can:

• Lower stress hormones like cortisol.

• Reduce blood pressure and heart rate.

• Improve mood and decrease anxiety.

• Help regulate sleep.

• Increase focus and creativity.

• Reduce inflammation.

• Improve immune function.

• Encourage movement that feels joyful instead of forced.

Perhaps most importantly...

Nature reminds us that we don't always have to be producing, fixing or accomplishing.

Sometimes we simply need to receive.

The warmth of the sun.

Fresh air filling our lungs.

The sound of water.

The smell of pine trees.

The feeling of grass beneath our feet.

The quiet that allows our minds to finally slow down.

Most of us can't disappear to the mountains every weekend.

But we don't have to.

Sometimes restoration looks like:

• Drinking your morning coffee on the porch instead of at your kitchen counter.

• Taking a 10-minute walk without your phone.

• Eating lunch outside.

• Watching a sunset.

• Sitting beneath a tree.

• Gardening.

• Listening to birds before the rest of the world wakes up.

These small moments add up.

They refill a tank many of us don't even realize is empty.

As we head back into another busy week, I have two challenges for you.

First, if you don't already have one planned, schedule a larger escape into nature sometime this summer - a hiking trip, a weekend at the lake, camping, kayaking, visiting a National Park—whatever fills your soul.

Second, ask yourself:

How can I reconnect with nature this week—even if it's only for ten minutes?

Your workouts matter.

Your nutrition matters.

But so does your spirit.

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do isn't another workout.

Sometimes it's simply letting nature take care of you.

xoxo,

Kim

Years ago, when I packed up my life and moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I was walking into.

I knew it would be competitive.

What I wasn't prepared for was walking into audition after audition to find myself sitting in a room with fifty other women who looked... remarkably like me.

Curly brown hair.

Hazel Eyes

Similar height.

Similar build.

We were all there hoping to say the same two lines for the same tiny role.

At first, I did what so many of us do.

I compared.

She was thinner.

She had brighter eyes.

She had a better smile.

Maybe if I lost five more pounds...

Maybe if I changed my hair...

Maybe if I looked a little more like "her"...

But something interesting happened after I actually started booking work.

When I was fortunate enough to be on set alongside some of the lead actors and actresses that everyone admired and wanted to look like - I discovered something you don't see in the audition room or on the TV.

Hollywood often rewards a body image that isn't realistic, or even healthy. Many of them worked incredibly hard, just to maintain that expected body image, and some went too far.  They say the camera adds 10–15 pounds, and while that saying isn't exact, the pressure to appear exceptionally thin on screen is very real.

It changed my perspective.

Working with them, I realized that although their body may have fit the stereotype, it not what got them hired.

What did get them hired was the energy they brought into the room.

Their confidence.

Their kindness.

Their professionalism.

Their ability to make everyone around them feel better.

That spark.

And that's true far beyond Hollywood.

Comparison steals our joy.

It convinces us we're behind.

Not enough.

Too old.

Too heavy.

Too late.

But here's the truth...

Your healthiest body will never look exactly like someone else's.

Your genetics are different.

Your life is different.

Your story is different.

The goal isn't to become the healthiest version of someone else.

It's to become the healthiest version of "you".

Because healthy looks different on every woman.

It isn't found in an airbrushed magazine cover or a perfectly filtered social media feed.

It's found in having the energy to play with your grandchildren.

In climbing the stairs without getting winded.

In sleeping through the night.

In feeling strong enough to carry your groceries, travel confidently, and enjoy your life.

That's the body worth working toward.

And there's another kind of comparison that's just as damaging.

The comparison that causes women to compete with or undercut each other instead of cheering each other on.  Whether it stems from a mindset of scarcity instead of abundance, jealousy or outside societal pressure, it is always harmful.

One of my dear friends, Deb Allen, has just released a wonderful new book called *Flipping the B.I.T.C.H. Switch*, and I love the message behind it.

It's about choosing encouragement over criticism, collaboration over competition, and lifting one another higher instead of tearing each other down - looking inside to find your own voice, resilience and strength and using that to live and serve each other authentically - because every woman deserves to know her own worth.  The book is designed not only to read but to work through together, making it perfect for book clubs and small groups.

If you're in the Traverse City area, Deb is hosting a book signing this coming Wednesday at the City Opera House. If you're not local, I still highly recommend adding this one to your reading list. You can learn more and find details about the book and upcoming events here:

Flipping the B.I.T.C.H. Switch

This week, instead of comparing yourself to someone else's highlight reel...

Celebrate one thing your body allows you to do.

And celebrate another woman, too.

Because there is enough room for all of us to shine.

xoxo,

Kim

This week has been one of those weeks.

You know the kind.

The kind where everyone in the house is moving in different directions, schedules are changing by the hour, responsibilities are shifting, and somehow a simple conversation turns into frustration before anyone realizes what happened.

With two teenage boys in our house, life is anything but predictable these days. One is navigating college life and adulthood, the other is stepping into new levels of independence and responsibility. There are jobs, schedules, plans, expectations, and countless moving parts.

Like most families, we occasionally have disagreements.

What's interesting, though, is that when I really stop and look at those moments, they are rarely caused by someone being selfish, careless, or intentionally difficult.

Most of the time?

We're simply not on the same page - we were operating with different sets of information.

It was assumed something was understood when it wasn't.

Someone didn't communicate what they needed ahead of time.

Or thought that they were helping while someone else experienced it differently.

The signals got crossed.

And the more I thought about it this week, the more I realized we do the exact same thing with our bodies. 

Many of us expect our bodies to deliver results without first making sure that we're speaking the same language.

We want better sleep, but we're sending mixed signals all day long.

If we don't get exposure to natural light and movement early in the day to help regulate serotonin and cortisol, we can't expect our bodies to naturally wind down and produce the melatonin needed for deep, restorative sleep later that night.

We want:

Stable energy, but we skip meals, live on caffeine, and grab whatever is convenient when hunger finally catches up to us.

Better blood sugar control, but we're not consistently providing the high-protein, high-fiber foods that help regulate insulin and keep energy steady throughout the day.

To get stronger, but we never give our muscles enough recovery time to rebuild.

Less stress, but we forget to create space for stillness.

More mobility, but we spend hours sitting and only think about stretching once something starts to hurt.

More energy, but we treat exhaustion like a badge of honor instead of a signal that something needs attention.

Our bodies to adapt, but we change our routines every few days and never give them enough consistency to learn a new normal.

The truth is, our bodies are communicating with us all the time.

Through energy levels.

Through hunger cues.

Through sleep patterns.

Through aches, pains, moods, cravings, digestion, focus, and recovery.

The challenge is that many of us are listening for what we want our bodies to say instead of what they are actually saying.

Just like relationships, communication with our bodies works best when we slow down enough to understand the other side.

Sometimes that means asking better questions.

Sometimes it means paying closer attention.

Sometimes it means realizing that our expectations don't match the signals we're sending.

With it being Father's Day this weekend, I thought about how much of both parenting and learning to become an adult are really learning this lesson of clear communication over and over again. 

The best moments don't happen because everyone always agrees. They happen because we keep trying to understand each other better. 

We take the time.

We check in. 

We clarify. 

We adjust.

Our relationship with our health isn't much different.

The more we learn about our bodies, the better we become at giving them the signals they need to thrive.

And the more we learn about the people we love, the easier it becomes to live, work, and grow together in harmony.

This week, take a moment to ask yourself:

“What outcome am I hoping for?  And… What signals am I actually sending?"

You might be surprised by the answer.

Xoxo,

Kim

P.S. Your body is always communicating. The question isn't whether it's talking. The question is whether we're listening to what it says.