Yes, I'm Really Going There Today...
There are some things we don’t talk about very much.
Especially as women.
And especially here in America, where we tend to keep certain parts of our lives… well, private.
But today,
It's time to talk about intimacy.
Now, as far as telling you a story this week, mine is going to be pretty short. This is personal, after all, and I’m not quite ready to put “all” of my business on the internet. 😂
But I was inspired to write this by a little creativity of my own, along with stories I’ve heard from girlfriends, clients, and plenty of other women over the years.
Because intimacy matters.
And as we get older, our bodies change.
Not just in shape and size, but in how we move. How much stability and strength we have. How well we support our joints. How our pelvic floor and other tissues respond to changes like childbirth and menopause. And sometimes, activities that once felt completely effortless require a little more thought and intention.
Think about crawling under a table to retrieve something when you were 12.
You probably didn't give it a second thought.
Now?
You might still crawl under that table, but once you are there… you’re probably thinking - How exactly am I getting back out of here? 😂
Our bodies aren't broken. They're just different.
And intimacy can be the same way.
We can absolutely continue to enjoy intimacy with our partners as we age. But sometimes we have to change our approach. We may need to be a little more deliberate with our movements, use more support, adjust positions, or simply listen more carefully to what our bodies are telling us.
And that's okay.
Because intimacy isn't just about the physical act.
It's about vulnerability.
Connection.
Feeling safe and comfortable in your own skin.
And staying connected to the person you love.
Sometimes the biggest obstacle isn't your body. It's how you feel about your body.
This is where I think fitness can have a much bigger impact than we often realize.
I've had plenty of conversations with women who don't feel comfortable being intimate because they don't feel comfortable “in their own bodies."
Maybe their weight has changed.
Maybe they don't recognize the body looking back at them in the mirror.
Maybe they're worried about how their partner sees them.
Or maybe they've simply spent so many years criticizing their bodies that it's hard to let go and actually be present.
And this is one of the reasons I believe movement can be so powerful.
It's not just about reaching your "ideal" weight.
When you regularly move your body, get stronger, improve your mobility, and take action to care for yourself, something else starts to happen.
You become more confident in what your body can do.
You become more aware of your body.
You learn what feels good, what doesn't, where you need support, and where you need to slow down.
You become more willing to take action on behalf of yourself.
And that kind of confidence can spill into every part of your life - including your intimate life.
In fact, one of my favorite goals that I've ever heard from a client was:
“I want to be comfortable having sex with the lights on.”
That was her three-month goal.
And honestly? I loved it.
Not because of the sex.
Because of what was underneath the goal.
She wanted to feel comfortable in her own skin.
She wanted confidence.
She wanted to stop hiding.
She was willing to use her health and fitness journey as a way to get there.
And that specific goal was a incredibly powerful motivator!
And then there's the structural concerns of intimacy - which we REALLY don't talk about enough.
Our pelvic floor is part of the foundation that supports our bodies and our organs, and it plays an important role in movement, stability, bladder and bowel function, and sexual health.
Pregnancy and childbirth can change those tissues.
Menopause brings additional changes.
And simply getting older can change how those tissues function.
Which means it's worth paying attention to how you're exercising - not just whether you're exercising.
More exercise isn't automatically better.
More intensity isn't automatically better.
And if you're doing exercises that create pressure, heaviness, leaking, pain, or other pelvic-floor symptoms, that's information worth listening to.
The goal is to build strength and stability in a way that supports your entire body.
If you're not sure whether you're exercising in a way that supports your pelvic floor, working with a knowledgeable fitness professional can help you learn how to - so that the exercise you are doing is helping to prevent future issues, rather than causing them!
And if you suspect there is a deeper issue, please don't just push through it. A pelvic floor physical therapist or other qualified pelvic-health specialist can evaluate what's actually going on and help you address it.
Your health goals don't have to be about a number on the scale.
Maybe you want to lose 15 pounds.
Maybe you want to have enough energy to get through your day without feeling completely wiped out.
Maybe you want to be able to get down on the floor and back up again.
Maybe you want to feel strong enough to travel, hike, play with your grandchildren, or keep doing the things you love.
Or maybe...
You want to feel confident enough to turn the lights on.
There is no wrong reason to want to take better care of yourself.
And sometimes the goal that feels a little too personal to say out loud is actually the goal that gives you the motivation to make lasting changes.
That's one of the things I love about behavior-change coaching.
We don't start with what you thinkyou're supposed to want.
We start with what actually does matter to you.
Then we build the strength, movement, nutrition, habits, and support you need to get there.
Because taking care of your body isn't just about living longer.
It's about being able to fully participate in the life you're living right now.
And yes...
That includes the parts we don't always talk about.
If there's an area of your health or fitness you've been avoiding because you're not sure where to start, I'd love to help you figure it out.
Start with a complimentary 15 minute Wellness Snapshot.
We'll take a look at where you are now, what's getting in your way, and what your next best step might be.
Your goals don't have to be traditional to be worth pursuing.
They just have to matter to you.
Keep Shining,
Kim
